Melissa’s Blog

幸福，不在生命长短，而在于和所爱的人分开时，没有遗憾！

~ 相爱到底的决心 ~

最近看完了这套戏，深深被它吸引。一开始是因为好奇言承旭近期拍的是怎样的一个作品，毕竟人们对他的印象永远是偶像多过于演员。看过他在《心星的泪光》的演出后，我可以肯定人们将对他的演技改观。他真的进步了！还不赖嘛！

我并不把《心星》归类为偶像剧。它没有一般偶像剧的人物美化、物质主义夸大；反而着重于人性的脆弱、面对疾病的恐慌，还有如何凭着相爱到底的决心彼此守候到最后一刻。它是一部细腻却又充满张力的戏剧，足以温暖您的心，让您跟着欢笑，跟着掉眼泪。

《心星》的故事或许是老掉牙的悲剧背景。男主角原是天才钢琴家，却因救人而发生车祸，伤了手，也从此断送了演奏生涯。女主角活泼开朗，认为给别人他们想要的就是幸福，所以在广告创意上不断地满足客户的要求。可惜，她却罹患遗传性疾病，俗称“渐冻人”，生命每一天在一点一滴的流失。来自两个不同地方的两个人看似两条平行线，却因为一场车祸有了交集，注定要走进彼此的生命里。

不要以为故事就只围绕于男女主角的爱情，这套戏里每一个角色都很鲜明，非常有特色。董爸的乐观坚强、程妈的冷漠严肃、达虹的肝胆相照、一新的包容接纳、睿珊的敢爱敢恨、至恺的痴心守候、细毛的乖巧懂事，每每引人入胜，不自觉地随着演员的演绎而投入在戏里。好喜欢饰演细毛的那个小孩，真的超会演！

不知道什么是渐冻人，看了你就明白。不知道所谓的一生一世，无论贫富或疾病都一生相守，看了你或许会有所体会。不知道何谓不肤浅的恋爱，看了希望你有所领悟。

不说太多，想知道什么，自己去看吧！

“有你在的地方，就是我心想要去的方向。“ ~程岳~

但愿每个人都能找到自己心的方向！

Today, I’ve lost you.

Still couldn’t believe that you are gone just like that. You are only less than a meter from me, and yet…… you went missing.

What am i suppose to do now without you in my life?

I still couldn’t figure how I’ve lost you. I merely put you aside while I went for meeting inside my boss’ room, but the distance is just a few foot away. I’ve never realise I would miss you that much. There are so much inside you that I would lose forever without you.

I don’t wanna believe that she has taken you away. Everyone tells me that most probably it is her. How could I believe?? I’ve treated her so well all these while, buying her lunch, be really friendly to her. is this how she pays back? I really don’t understand.

I called frantically for you the moment I found you gone, hoping that someone would answer my call. Reaching my ear is the caller ringtone, followed by voice message tone. I kind of expected this. Don’t wanna give up, I tried a few times again, but in vain.

I think I’ve lost you just like that.

I’m sorry for taking you for granted sometimes.

Please… come back to me…..

my Sony Ericsson K610i.

最近在《王牌大贱谍》里看到方大同，一个憨厚、斯文的男生，宛如一个邻家大男孩。第一次从节目中看到他，感觉在重包装的娱乐圈里，他显得有些不搭尬。没有亮眼的外表，他却用自己的音乐诉说着心中最单纯的信念。

听方大同的音乐让我放松，使我不自禁随着他的歌曲拍打着节奏。节奏蓝调对他来说是最熟悉不过的旋律，就连随便哼个一两句都能听到他声音里头浓浓的R&B式唱腔。一首非常抒情的歌曲在他歌声的演绎之下顿时丰富了起来。随兴的几个转音和滑音起了画龙点睛之用，让人不自觉地陶醉在音乐里。

对于R&B和Soul，方大同侃侃而谈，大方地诠释着这两者的曲风。我想华人音乐里没几个歌手像他一样，一开口就自然地散发R&B的味道，或许该说更偏向灵魂乐。毕竟这两种曲风原属于西方黑人的音乐。然而，成长于文化大熔炉的美国使他有更多的机会接触并深入认识这两种音乐，奠定了他以后音乐的方向。

喜欢方大同的音乐，喜欢他的声音，喜欢他随兴却又好听的转音。会喜欢的原因，我想是因为听他唱歌让我觉得很舒服，不自觉地放松。音乐本来就该如此啊，不是吗？灵魂乐和节奏蓝调的唱法是我驾驭不了的两块版图，至少目前为止还在摸索的阶段，根本无法唱出这两者的味道。看到方大同这么轻易就做到了，佩服啊！

没有用力嘶喊的声量，没有高亢的嗓音，少了哗众取宠的包装，剩下的是轻轻柔柔的音乐，配上游刃有余的灵魂式唱腔，还有那份认真表达歌曲的诚意；这样的一个方大同，你……心动了吗？

忘了从何时开始，我不再从流行曲中找到悸动。一直到最近，这一首歌深深牵动我的情感。无论我看过这MV多少次，每每在看完之后，我依然不自觉地鼻酸，眼泪盈眶。

最幸福的事诉说着逝去的幸福。每个人都渴望幸福，但并非每个人的幸福都伸手可及。幸福的定义因人而异；我认为的幸福不见得是你所认同的。有些人的幸福是三餐温饱，另一些人的幸福也许是家庭和睦。不置可否的是，每个人一生都在追求幸福。

对于我来说，珍惜眼前拥有的就是幸福。我其实并不相信所谓一辈子的朋友，尤其我生命里有许多人进进出出的时候，我不会强求每个人陪在身边，死缠烂打要无时无刻保持联络。我更在意的是，走进彼此生活中的岁月里，我们为彼此留下了些什么。是无厘头的嬉笑打闹、三八式的说长道短、抑或激励式的生命成长？我们一起相处的回忆将化成最扣人心弦的篇章，在没有你的日子里，它成为我继续向前的动力。

谢谢你走进我的生命，当过我的天使。哪怕只有短短一个月的时光，你却在我心里留下了有别于他人的美好。我所能做的最幸福的事，是将属于我们的回忆好好收藏，遥寄于你我最深的思念，永远在左边心口保留专属于你的位置。

MV的最后，梁文音拿起电话筒，以哽咽的声音轻轻吐出“爸爸，妈妈，你们好吗？我已经长大了。你们听到我的声音了吗？能成为你们的女儿，是我最幸福的事。”

泪水，溃提……

This year, for the 1st time, i spent my birthday in Cheras, away from my loved ones. This is the 6th year i’ve not celebrated my birthday with my family. Though mom wanted to celebrate it for me earlier when I’m back home for CNY, I gently said ‘No’. She’s always been thinking wanna cook ‘mee suah’ & chicken soup for me, buying me a cake for a simple celebration. However, I can’t bear to put her through all the troubles of preparation. Mom, I’ve grown up. I’m no more the spoilt kid who cried for cake everytime for my birthday.

All the 5 years back in Melaka, i’ve been celebrating with my friends in church. It’s quite impossible to keep my birthday a secret, b’cos it’s not, and i could expect a big group of them to pour into my house just to sing me a birthday song, buying me a beautifully decorated, & delicious cake. They never fail to do so each year. Indeed I’m very blessed, and count myself fortunate to hv them with me, flowing their wishes for me on my special day. Thanks, guys & gals! I’ve had sweet, memorable birthdays for the past 5 years, really…….

This year, I decided that perhaps having a secluded birthday all by myself is not a bad idea. Although the day approached, I made no effort to tell anyone around me, including my room-mate, my colleagues, or my friends here. However, my pastor knew about it and insisted that I come for the cell group gathering that night. (What a coincidence, our cell group gathering fell on my birthday, hahahaha) And guess what, here comes the celebration they prepared for me!

The birthday cake my cell group friends bought me. Yummy cappuccino cake decorated with chocolates, baked by an aunt from my church who owns a bakery.

On the same day, I received another cake from Shirlyn, sent to me all the way from Penang.

Tadaaaaaaa…….. cute not? Heheee….. it’s a really cute, naughty shark cake. This cake is kind of special because it’s an e-cake, emailed all the way to me, surprise???? How sad can only see but cannot touch nor eat the naughty shark, haiiiii…….

Received warm blessings and wishes from you, no matter through sms, emails, or facebook. Thanks, people! Love ya! Muacksssssssssss

The past week has been a very very busy week for me. I ended up coming home tired, dizzy, and exhausted. Try sitting in front of your laptop from morning till evening & you’ll know how it feels like.

There are meetings to attend everyday, 5 days in a row, & it doesn’t seems to end. The haste and bustle in work is going to continue for the next week, and also weeks that follow. Though there are many tasks to be completed, and decisions to be made, I’m actually quite satisfied to be able to learn through my job, and also from all the experienced staff. I guess i’m just not that kind of person who can sit still ‘goyang kaki’ in the office. It is just so unlike me! I actually enjoy the hectics & challenges that I hv now, especially gaining knowledge through the HSBB project that we are implementing for our country. Though there are many unknowns regarding this project, the idea of being the pioneer of planning the whole infrastructure makes me feel energized!

Having a job that I enjoy now, I have to be thankful. At least in this time of economic downpour I could still hv my job secured. I hope better opportunity will come when my contract ends in May, to get myself absorbed as the permanent staff. Frankly speaking, I dunno what my situation will be when my contract ends. Getting kicked out of the company is certainly out of my worries, as I’m very much confident that I’ve shown my capabilities all these while with my job performance. I could only hope for the best with my current position in the company.

Last Wednesday I attended the combined Ash Wednesday service in 11th Mile Lutheran Church. It serves as a great reminder for me to ponder upon the grace that our Heavenly Father showered unto us through His son - Jesus Christ. Though busy everyday, I felt myself relaxed to be able to spend time reflecting on His words, to hv communion & fellowship with brothers & sisters in Christ. This is now the season of Lent, a season for us to prepare our hearts to walk the path of Jesus’ suffering, following by His death, and last, His resurrection.

Thank You, Lord, for loving us this much, sending Your only Son to die for us on the cross, paying all our sins. Thank You for being faithfully with me all these while, reminding me that I’m not alone, for You’re the guiding One. Grant me strength and wisdom to carry on in whatever I do. Grant me patience and more faith as I wait upon You, & see Your will be done in my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

好忙的十二月！

忙什么？忙婚礼！

relax……..不是我的婚礼（虽然期待那一天），是教会朋友的婚礼啦!对啦，别人的婚礼我瞎忙个什么劲啊…….如果一个月里必须出席三个婚礼，而每个婚礼你都必须实际参与，看你还会不会这么说。

12月6日 - 第一场婚礼。前一天就请假飞车下马六甲，为朋友的婚礼做最后的准备工作。之前受到新娘子的再三邀约成为她的姐妹，偏偏我又不忍心说“不！”好啦，谁叫我们认识这么久，我怎么好意思拒绝，就尽我绵力帮一帮，盼你们能有个美好的回忆。

原以为做姐妹应该不是什么难事，之前还跟她确认过无需刻意装扮，只需照吩咐做就对了。哪知…..姐妹团要统一穿着，接着就是一连串“买衣大作战”。我花了一个星期的时间找衣服，还是没有合心意的。原本已经放弃不找了，却在下马六甲的前一天在Times Square看到，二话不说就买了（主要还是因为价钱便宜啦，哈哈）

婚礼当天的一切流程在这里就不提啦。从早到晚作接待、做司机，有够累！！！参加婚礼怎么好象比自己办婚礼还要累啊！虽然如此，看到你们俩终成眷属，累一点也值得啦。

12月20日- 第二场婚礼。这次呢是为刚认识不久的教会朋友担任婚礼司琴，也为他们俩配唱晚宴的入场曲。怎么样，“入场曲”特别吧？在晚宴开始前，一对新人选择用有别于一般的入场曲，那就是他们俩边唱歌边从场外步入宴会场；而台上就有我和另一位吉他手帮忙弹奏和配唱。这次我不再累，反倒捏了一把冷汗。尤其我必须弹奏keyboard（我第一次碰keyboard），再配唱一首完全不熟悉的歌曲。keyboard和钢琴弹奏的力度不一样；而我又不善于控制。稍微一不留神，手指一用力，它就传出刺耳的音色。我差点就为此抓狂了！但是，到最后，一切都非常顺利，感谢神！

1月1日- 第三场婚礼，2009年的第一场。这一次也是担任婚礼的司琴。有别于上两个婚礼的是，这一对新人是长者；双方都是再婚。这一次我可轻松多了，只需好好坐着弹钢琴就可以了，哈哈哈。

三场婚礼都被别人问到几时才到我的婚礼。我也很想知道阿，但现在没有对的人出现我该怎么办呢？没关系，我对神有信心，我总会等到这一天（希望不会太久啦，哈哈）。一口气参加了这么多场婚礼，多多少少有些概念我要个怎样的婚礼。尤其现在又有人站出来拍胸脯说要帮我筹办婚礼，到时你可别赖掉哦！

“爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂，不做害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐；爱是永不止息。” 《林前13：4-8》

In another 7 hours’ time, year 2008 will remain history. 2009 will pronounce its arrival with a starting of a whole new page in our lives. Before I bid 2008 goodbye, I would like to seize this opportunity to drop a few words here as a memory of a chapter in my life.

Many things happened this year - happy, pain, excited, sweet, sour……. Throughout all these happenings, I learnt to be strong, transforming the inner part of me to be a better person. I would not say how good I am, but being under the guidance of Lord, I learn to rely more on Him, and to let Him take care of me.

In 2008, I changed a new job, moving to a new city that I’m not familiar with. Frankly, it was sad to leave Melaka where I’ve been staying for so long. All my friends are there, so as the ones who love me and I love. However, God is good all the time. Living in Cheras and serving in 9th Mile Church now broadens my view and perception even more. I don’t know what I would be like if i continue to stay in Melaka back then. Perhaps more turmoil I need to face, more sophisticated relationship to handle. I yearned to leave that place so much then, as I see my heart being torn apart. I’m not avoiding anything, I just want a break. The new job came at the right time. I found myself relieved with this whole newcoming.

Well, let’s not make things sound so sad, new year is coming! I pray for a more fruitful 2009, in my job, my life, my ministry. I certainly have no idea what God would give me for this new year, but I’m eagerly waiting. He never fails. O God, I’m sure You know what I need, what I’ve desired. Though the journey ahead remain unknown, You remain faithful and graceful. Guide me and lead me. Teach me not to look at what I don’t have, but to focus on what I have, and to serve You whole-heartedly. This is my prayer for the forthcoming year. Thank You for leading me through year 2008!

当世界的局势每分钟向着劣势移动，每每从世界的另一端传来了令人忧心的消息，我不禁在思考，我们到底怎么了？

印度的恐怖分子袭击事件至今已经使101人丧命，超过1000人受伤。好不容易渐抚平的美国911伤痛，随着这第二波的恐怖袭击，再次敲击人们努力想撇开的沉痛，带来另一次的梦魇。而这一次，受波及的不仅仅是美国人，还有英国人，更包括孟买当地的居民。今天的新闻播保指出，恐怖分子命令酒店旅客拿出护照，要证明他们是不是美国籍和英国籍；接着便挟持这一些人为人质。我真的想问，是美国籍又怎么了？是英国籍又有什么错？为什么要针对西方人？凭什么挟持这些无辜的人啊？溅的血难道还不够吗？

从什么时候开始人性已经扭曲成这个地步，可以如此轻易的践踏别人的性命？每个人都是平等的，又凭什么来决定别人的生死？或许你会说黑人从来就没受过公平的待遇，阿富汗就是因为西方国家的介入导致长年战乱。但是，难道历史还说得不够多吗？以前的是非对错已经没有任何转圜的余地；就算有再多不公都好，我们是无法改变历史的。可是，我们却能从历史当中学习不再步前人错误的决定，以智慧和宽容使未来的世界更美好。然而，叫人失望的是，我们，似乎永远也学不会。

科技不断创新、文明不断前进，我却看到人性以迅雷不及掩耳的速度往谷底坠。天灾已经够多，要处理灾后的后续工作已不易，我们却还贪婪的觊觎他人的资产，想着如何去侵占他人。人性的真善美就这么经不起考验吗？当初上帝要毁灭所多玛、蛾摩拉，用洪水毁灭世界，是因为人们罪恶满盈。如今，上帝同样坐在宝座上俯视世界。在神的眼中，我们的一举一动是否让祂一再忍着悲痛和愤怒，一方面又不断给与我们机会悔改，怜悯地缓延像当初所降于世界的审判？

如果我们能为身边的人多想一想，我相信世界一定会不一样。

如果我们能放下心中的自我，我相信每个人眼中不会再狭隘得容不下其他人的美好。

如果我们能付出多一点爱，我相信世界的角落就会多出许多的欢笑。

无论局势怎么变化，时间永不会停止转动。当时间不断向前，但愿我们同样向前，以上帝所赐于的力量和恩典去创造更值得我们期许的未来！

Well, hello!!!!! Welcome to my World. i don’t know what comes into me today and i suddenly hv the thinking of starting a blog of my own. ya i know, everyone has a blog nowadays, and it’s like outdated not to hv a blog, but this is certainly not the reason why i started one for myself.

I’ve always been someone who does not share the deepest feelings n thoughts easily with people around me, including my friends. To my friends, i may be a person who is hard to understand, a girl always with thoughts running in the mind, but you just can’t figure what is exactly in her heart…… well, my friends, it must be hard on you all these while. ( i know some of you actually complain why i dun share. not that i dun wan, i just find it hard to bring it up… most of the times i used to be silent)

for me, writing has always been an easier way to express my inner feelings. perhaps this is why i decided to share with you my experience, my life, my work, all the moments that i’m spending alone here without you all by my side. it is a connection that will never fail whenever you feel like wanna know how i’m going on. therefore, with warmest hug and the most radiant smile, i welcome you all to my inner world, looking forward to your comments or regards that you will drop here. i hope this is a place where Melissa will no longer remain ‘misty’ to you all. cheers………….